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quite honestly...
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...I have no clue what I'm doing.

But you can call me Flora.

Hi.

karnythia:

What If We Responded to Sexual Assault by Limiting Men’s Freedom Like We Limit Women’s?

dappledwings:

stfuhypocrisy:

(Quite possibly the greatest thing you’ll read all day)

Calls for Men to Be Blindfolded in Public
In response to claims that men are unable to restrain themselves from committing rape if they see women in skimpy clothing, members of law enforcement agencies around the country have called for men to blindfold themselves when they are in places where they might encounter a female wearing a tank top or a short skirt.

“For years, we have been told that men don’t understand how to respond to the sight of a woman wearing, say, gym clothes – that as far as they are concerned, if they can see the outline of her body, then that’s an invitation to sex that they are simply unable to refuse,” said one police chief. “If that’s true, then we have no choice. We want women to be safe, and there is apparently no way for some men to reasonably restrain their own behavior once they catch a glimpse of cleavage, so all men will have to cover their eyes while working out, going to bars or clubs, or relaxing at the beach.”

Popular radio “shock jocks” Skeezer and the Gooch have gone even further, arguing that men should be blindfolded at all times while in public, on the grounds that “it’s not just skimpy outfits, some dudes get turned on by random stuff like women wearing athletic jerseys and sneakers,” making situation-specific blindfolding insufficient to preserve women’s safety.

Unwise to Allow Men to Go Out Alone at Night?
A local coalition of religious leaders, concerned about recent studies showing that an average of 6% of men will commit a sexual assault during their lifetime, and that nearly all sexual assaults are committed by men on their own or in groups, are urging parents not to let their sons go out at night unless they are accompanied by a mother, sister, or trusted female friend.

Mens’ groups have responded with concern, pointing out that this may leave some men unable to complete the tasks of daily life, such as going to school, working, or socializing.

In response, the religious leaders said that they “understand that this may be an inconvenience for some men,” but that “the minor difficulties this imposes on men are nothing when compared to the lifelong horror sexual assaults cause their victims.” “Really,” said the organization’s leader, “almost any limitation on men’s freedom is better than the risk that they might sexually assault someone. That’s just common sense.”

Time to Admit That Some Jobs May Just Be Too Dangerous for Men?
Recent allegations that Jimmy Savile raped numerous children while working as a television presenter for the BBC, have led to widespread calls for television stations to avoid allowing men to do similar jobs.

“We know that not all men are rapists, and that some men can probably be trusted to present tv shows safely,” said the director of Televisions Within Borders, a professional group that promotes the welfare of TV hosts and the people they cover. “However, now we know that some men can’t. And why take the risk? There are plenty of qualified women who can do this job instead.”

Voices from the blogosphere agree. “You wouldn’t send a cocaine addict to do a Good Morning America segment about a big pile of cocaine,” said a blogger who calls himself “UltimateMindz.” “Letting men be TV presenters is basically the same thing.” That post has since been shared more than 180 times on twitter, and has garnered nearly 2000 Facebook “likes.”

Supporters of this movement point to the fact that there has not been a single recorded case of a football coach raping a child since all college football coaching staff were replaced by women after last year’s Penn State abuse scandal.

Deans of 25 prominent journalism schools have taken a more moderate position, however, urging television programs to do more segments on bodybuilders and military contractors – subjects who are seen as safe for male presenters to interact with because their physical strength leaves them less vulnerable to assault. That way, the deans argue in a widely-circulated letter, male presenters may be able to remain in their jobs, albeit in a role with less visibility and almost no opportunity for advancement.

(If you’re wondering where this post came from, see, e.g., here, here, here, and here.)

I laughed.

The 5 Girlfriends Society Wants You To Be

hairypitsandtits:

By Chelsea Fagan

1. The “Doesn’t Know She’s Beautiful” Girlfriend

The theory behind this girl, immortalized in the One Direction song, is that she is absolutely gorgeous (makeup and hair styling-free, of course, because she is also the epitome of ~natural beauty~) without being aware of it in the slightest. Because being aware that she is attractive, or being generally confident in her looks, is the secret ingredient to turning even the most tolerable girl into a raving harpy, the Doesn’t Know Girlfriend remains blissfully ignorant. She is the Taylor Swift of aesthetic appeal, always slack-jawed and utterly shocked at the positive attention she receives. It is for the Good Guy Boyfriend to remind her at regular intervals that she is so much more appealing than all of those other wenches who spackle on the foundation with a rusty putty knife, and it is for her to laugh naively and forget all about it.

2. The “One of the Guys” Girlfriend

This girl drinks beer, JUST LIKE A DUDE. She enjoys watching sports, JUST LIKE A DUDE. She plays video games, JUST LIKE A DUDE. Of course, because she is a woman, she remains perfectly attractive and physically feminine while carrying out said activities, as a woman who actually displays traces of deeper masculinity is gRoCe! (Umm, hello, they’re not trying to date a lesbian! #eww) She participates in these manly activities — and supports all of her boyfriend’s friends unequivocally, regardless of behavior — because she “gets it” and is down to just be “one of the guys.” Bear in mind, though, that should her interest in any of these activities be questioned, she is liable to be labeled a “gamer girl” or “geek girl” who is doing this for attention because she has nothing better to do with her time than seek the approval of greasy manchildren. If this fate befalls her, she will have brought it on herself. Shouldn’t have been such a fake bitch.

3. The “Chill As Hell” Girlfriend

This girlfriend doesn’t care if you wanna go to a strip club on a weekly basis! She doesn’t care if you don’t call her back within 48 hours! She doesn’t care if you show up when you say you’re going to! She doesn’t care if you are flirting with other women in front of her! She’s chill, man, she’s not like all of those other uptight bitches with “personal standards” or “reasonable expectations of another human being.” She’s not here to get all in your face about minor shit like meeting her family after two years or being honest with her. She’s got better things to do, such as laugh at your jokes.

4. The “Betty Crocker” Girlfriend

The ability to cook and clean and really take care of the house has been plummeting amongst females since, wow, forever. It’s really refreshing to see a girlfriend like this, one who is dedicated to providing a perfect domestic environment for her boyfriend. She is the true wifey material, not like all of those other hoes who eat ramen noodles and let forks chill in their sink, unwashed, for days at a time. She is the future mother of your well-fed children. Her ability to keep things right on the home front should be the cause for endless mockery of her peers who cannot achieve the same, as it universally falls on the woman to run a home, and any woman who cannot fulfill her destiny may as well just resign herself to a life of cats and vibrators. #duh

5. The “Lady In The Streets, Freak In The Sheets” Girlfriend

Do you want a girl who is going to acquiesce to all of your more depraved sexual demands? Do you want someone who is as discreet as she is smoking hot? Do you want her to wear nothing but demure skirt suits with classy La Perla lingerie underneath, revealing her onion-like layers of increasingly sexual femininity? Well then this is the girl for you! She is here to fulfill all of your fantasies, all while remaining perfectly silent about said sexuality when in public. She doesn’t talk to friends about her sex life, she doesn’t make blue jokes, she doesn’t have an open attitude towards the subject when in mixed company — she is a lady. She has the Madonna/Whore dichotomy down to a finely-tuned science, and she is here to charm your parents at dinner whilst giving you a zesty handy under the table. 

spicyobsession:

lolsofunny:

image

*right-click saves gif*

analyzinglarry:

ONE DIRECTION IS A REASON WHY WHITE PEOPLE SHOULD NOT DANCE

omfg are you kidding me harry should do this all the time i’m crying??!?

you're such a gay: onedirectionstraighttohell: hey you wanna hear a joke‘you know, i...

kurtsassthough:

onedirectionstraighttohell:

hey you wanna hear a joke

‘you know, i don’t even really like 1d but-‘

#’that one with the curly hair is cute’ #’i like that j crew music video’ #’they touch a lot and i’m intrigued’ #1d is like beetlejuice in that there are steps you need to take for them to appear in your life and ruin it #the first beetlejuice: they slip past your tumblr savior and you think ‘that’s. why isn’t that as annoying as it should be?’ #second beetlejuice: you learn one of their names ‘but i only like him it’s not like-’ no you don’t understand #once you learn one of their names you’re fucked #the third beetlejuice is watching a video of them explaining their love for each other #and by the end you are clawing at your face and whispering ‘no no i never wanted this’ #i’m sorry it’s done you can’t be helped #i tried to stop you i really did #(i didn’t)

elenagilbertanddamon:

dinnerwiththestylinsonss:

whipitharry:

A song dedicated to Larry Stylinson

This is the best thing ever and I am currently made of happiness.

FKSMDOIFKJDSIJF this is the best thing ever omg

asinfastmovies:

#IF THIS ISN’T GENDERSWAP ZAYN AND NIALL THEN IDK WHAT IS

obsassingoverlou:

omfg what is wrong with me.

loueh-loves-harreh:

1d-izzlers:

One Direction urban dictionary definitions

This is seriously the best.

1dbromance:

Narry stripping on stage. [x]

tyleroakley:

(via “How To: Stalk One Direction”)

lewispayne:



what I’m trying to say is that the answer’s Niall. look at that form, perfect control of the tip!
ok so of my guy friends I know none of them particularly enjoy going down on girls but I know there are guys out there who do and I like to think Niall is one of them.
I’m not saying any of them wouldn’t do it but Zayn strikes me as the type to be finicky about it and only do it if you specifically asked, after you blow him. Harry would do it because he wants to please you and you want it but it’s not the thing he likes the most, he’d much prefer to get his fingers up in you and let you suck on his tongue if anything. I feel like Liam would be the most vanilla about sex and while he definitely goes down on girls I think he’s the type who may treat vaginas more delicately than they need to be. no body likes a gentle fingering, okay. no one. I think he might not get that creative with his mouth down there. I’m not sure if I know what I think Louis would be like but probably something along the same lines of Zayn where he can’t completely get out of his mind that it’s the same place girls their periods from that he’s putting his mouth on.
I see Niall as the least squeamish of the bunch and not afraid to just go for it. like constantly thinking ‘what happens if I do this? or this? what sound does she make when I press my tongue here?’ he probably also wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off your boobs that long either so he’d be reaching a hand up to grope at them the whole time, which I’m a fan of. and I love the way he’s so pale so his face get’s all mottled red and his eyes would be all squinted up smug when you squeeze his head between your thighs, looking up at you like this

he totally wouldn’t mind if you pulled on his hair and would probably groan when you get a fist in it or scratch at his scalp.
and after you come the first time he’d probably lift his head up and chuckle a little bit, wipe his mouth with the back of his wrist, and be like, “you want another one, love?”
also a guy with braces has never gone down on me and I’m curious.

lewispayne:

what I’m trying to say is that the answer’s Niall. look at that form, perfect control of the tip!

ok so of my guy friends I know none of them particularly enjoy going down on girls but I know there are guys out there who do and I like to think Niall is one of them.

I’m not saying any of them wouldn’t do it but Zayn strikes me as the type to be finicky about it and only do it if you specifically asked, after you blow him. Harry would do it because he wants to please you and you want it but it’s not the thing he likes the most, he’d much prefer to get his fingers up in you and let you suck on his tongue if anything. I feel like Liam would be the most vanilla about sex and while he definitely goes down on girls I think he’s the type who may treat vaginas more delicately than they need to be. no body likes a gentle fingering, okay. no one. I think he might not get that creative with his mouth down there. I’m not sure if I know what I think Louis would be like but probably something along the same lines of Zayn where he can’t completely get out of his mind that it’s the same place girls their periods from that he’s putting his mouth on.

I see Niall as the least squeamish of the bunch and not afraid to just go for it. like constantly thinking ‘what happens if I do this? or this? what sound does she make when I press my tongue here?’ he probably also wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off your boobs that long either so he’d be reaching a hand up to grope at them the whole time, which I’m a fan of. and I love the way he’s so pale so his face get’s all mottled red and his eyes would be all squinted up smug when you squeeze his head between your thighs, looking up at you like this

he totally wouldn’t mind if you pulled on his hair and would probably groan when you get a fist in it or scratch at his scalp.

and after you come the first time he’d probably lift his head up and chuckle a little bit, wipe his mouth with the back of his wrist, and be like, “you want another one, love?”

also a guy with braces has never gone down on me and I’m curious.