♥ 5,042 notes
● via source
Extroverts have feelings too
There are always a lot of posts about how to treat introverts and how to tell if something is bothering them. But guys, extroverts can be just as sad and have just as many issues. So here it is, an introverts guide to dealing with extroverts.
fair warning this post is just gonna be me responding with my experiences. I think it’s great if people can learn from this but
I guess it was just strange to me having spent my entire life having to adapt to dealing with extroverts.
I’m all for telling people you don’t want to be touched or that you need alone time, like with #3 and #4. But I know most people struggle with it often because of the negative reactions it creates. A lot of times extroverts can feel like this is a reflection of them. Like it’s personal, when it’s not. This is especially hard when it comes to friends (and especially family), because it can create a lot of hurt feelings, even after explanation.
With #4 I think most people try to comfort others the way they would want to be comforted- the same way extroverts can make introverts feel smothered by their comforting, introverts can give extroverts too much space and leave them feeling abandoned.
#5 is kind of funny to me because I experience this all the time. I can definitely tell when an extroverted person feels a bit nervous because I’m so quiet. Usually my inner monologue is something like-
oh god why are they still talking. seriously. I should probably say something. …but I have nothing to say. oh no now they think I’m weird because I haven’t said anything. perfect. this is so uncomfortable. just nod and smile. oh shit they’ve paused. I still have no response. why are we doing this? this is awful. stop.
(then I either feel terrible about my inability to communicate or vaguely angry because I really felt like there was nothing for me to say, yet you kept looking at me like you asked a question)
I know you feel uncomfortable. So do I. Also (and this applies to #7 too) I know you want me to contribute to the conversation. But if I have nothing to say, I have nothing to say and even though this is awkward as hell that’s not really changing. I know you hate the awkward silence too. But sometimes if you endure it just long enough (and then a little while longer), I might say something.
#6 sucks hard. For anybody. I can definitely see extroverts dealing with this more just because they get the urge to hang out more than introverts. I’ve been on both sides of this and despite being friends with mostly introverts (and being an introvert myself) I’m mostly on the side of ‘always inviting someone’. However, from the other side of this, usually I can sense when the person is getting fed up or sad because they’re always the one doing the inviting. And it’s at this point I know I have to make a decision. Either I start accepting/giving invites of my own, or I keep turning you down and accept that we’ll probably never be good friends. I’m not going to make myself hang out with you when I can’t be around as much as you want. It’s just going to make us both miserable.
anyway, this a lot more general than op’s post, but for me dealing with extroverts is just a whole ton of acceptance and communication. Acceptance that sometimes I’m going be pissy because you keep clinging on me like a limpet to hang out with you and sometimes you’re going to be pissy at me for a being a recluse who hasn’t talked to you in a week and can’t remember the last time last time I went outside. Communication in explaining to you (yes again. and yes again.) that me not wanting you around is not a reflection of me thinking badly of you. Communication in you telling me when I do something to hurt your feelings even if you don’t think I meant it. It’s you leaving me the hell alone even though it physically pains you to think of me all by myself when I’m feeling sad and me sucking it up and spending the entire weekend by your side trying to cheer you up when you need it.